All that matters
by upsidedownstars
Summary: Maura doesn't know how to tell Jane. She doesn't know how she feels about her. Maybe she feels like this only because she's scared to lose Jane. Jane has to make choices. Casey or her career? Casey or her best friend? Rizzles. I suck at summary. R&R.
1. Chapter 1

'' How will I survive without my best friend?'' Maura said, trying so fake a smile and trying to hide the sadness on her face. She didn't know how to react, so she just kept hiding her emotions and the tears shining in her eyes.

''Oh, Maura…'' Jane smiled. Seeing that her friend was trying to hide her emotions, she didn't want to ask her what was wrong, so she did the same, pretending that everything was doing just fine. But she regretted it after she saw the look on her friend's face. '' I think I have a foreign body on my cornea'' said Maura as she took off her gloves. Jane's expression changed as fast as Maura started to walk away from the lab. ''Wait, Maura'' ''No, no… I'm fine.'' Maura left Jane where she was, and her friend was still there, watching her friend walking off the lab, not being able to say a word.

Maura entered her office, walking as fast as possible. She was trying to control the tears that were falling down her cheeks. She sat down on her couch and put her face in her hands. She kept thinking about what was going to happen to their friendship if she leaves. Jane was her best friend. She was the only person who truly understood Maura, the only person that she was able to understand, the only person that made her smile and cheered her up with her sarcasm every time she was upset.

Maura lifted her head up when she heard someone knocking on her door. She wiped the tears that couldn't stop falling with her hands, and she stood up. Frost was standing in the doorway, watching her trying to make herself look presentable.

''Hey, doc, I was just wondering if you got the lab results.'' Frost asked as he watched her coming a little closer to him. ''uh, yeah, there,'' she said, handing him the file. Frost took the file, still watching her, and asked ''Are-Are you okay, doctor Isles?'' Maura looked down at the floor, unable to look at him in the eyes. ''I will be. Thank you, detective Frost.'' She forced a smile and turned around to reach her desk. Frost was watching her closely. He felt a little worried but he didn't know what to do so he left her alone and reached the elevator.

…

Jane was sitting at her desk, unable to think about the case. She just kept thinking about Maura's reaction in the lab. She shook her head, trying to leave her thoughts for a moment. As she straightened herself on her chair, she took a look on the file in front of her and the murder board to see if there was something she could find about the case they were working on.

The detective couldn't focus on the case. She needed to talk to Maura. She stood up, took her vest and started to walk away, but Frost arrived and handed her the lab results. They sat there together and talked about the case for a few moments before it became silent.

After a few minutes, Frost opened his mouth to say something, but hesitated for a moment. Jane saw the look on his face, and she knew he wanted to say something important. ''Frost, what is it?'' She asked. Frost opened his mouth once again but shut it again. ''God, Frost just spit it out!'' Jane said as she was getting impatient. ''Did something happened between doctor Isles and you?'' he asked. ''No… Yes… No… I don't know.'' She answered, as she ran a hand through her curls. ''I just… She started acting weird when I showed her my ring, but I didn't say anything because I thought she just didn't like the ring or something.'' ''You are engaged?!'' He asked, but he wasn't very surprised. He looked confused. ''No… Yes... Maybe, I don't know, it's… complicated, okay?'' She ran a hand in the hair and sighed. Jane started to play with her hands and Frost was staring at her. ''I saw her crying.'' Jane lifted her head and sighed again. ''She looked upset. And really sad. I don't know if it has anything to do with her family, but…''

Jane stared at her hands and said '' I don't know either. I'll talk to her. But we have to catch a killer. I don't have time for this now.'' Frost looked at her and shrugged ''I think you should go talk to her. I can see you can't focus and Maura needs you. I'm sure she can't focus either. Go talk to her. Korsak and I are here. We'll take care of everything. '' Frost took a pen and began to write on the file that was in front of him. He stopped writing when he saw Jane was staring at him. ''Go!'' He said. Jane hesitated because she wasn't sure if she should go talk to her best friend or give her some time. After a few seconds, she stood up and started walking toward the elevator.

…

Maura was doing some paper work on her desk. Her eyes were red and puffy, but she didn't care. She just stared at the papers in front of her and kept working like everything was normal.

She was writing something when she heard Jane walking toward her office. She knew it was Jane. She knew it was her just by the sound of those boots and the way she walked.

Jane entered Maura's office and sat down on the chair in front of her partner's desk. Jane was staring at her. Maura ignored her for a moment. A few minutes later, she bit her bottom lip and looked up at Jane. ''May I help you?'' She asked. Jane sighed and put both of her arms on Maura's desk, looking her in the eyes. Maura's eyes filled with tears. She swallowed and looked away. ''What is it, Maur?'' Jane asked. Her friend didn't respond, so she said '' you know I'm not going to push you if you don't want to talk to me, Maura. But I don't know what's wrong. This morning when I saw you, you were so happy. I don't know what happened today to make your smile disappear. But I'm here for you.'' Jane kept looking at her friend for a moment. Maura looked at her and smiled. ''Thank you.'' She said.

When the doctor didn't say more, Jane understood she didn't want to talk about it right now. ''Wanna go to the Robber tonight?'' Jane asked. Maura smiled and answered '' sure.''

Jane smiled and stood up. ''I'll call you.''


	2. Chapter 2

It's been a long day. Jane was exhausted and all she wanted to do was to go home, watch tv and cuddle with her boyfriend. But she couldn't. She promised to Maura she'd call her to go to the Robber with her tonight. And she needed to talk to her. She needed to know why her best friend looked so upset when she showed her ring. Wasn't she supposed to be happy for her?

She didn't want to think about it right now. She just wanted to relax. Even if her thoughts didn't want to go away, she thought it'd be a good idea to spend some times with her friend. It's been a long time since Maura and her talked about something else than the cases they had been working on and Casey. She missed being at Maura's at 2 am and laugh with her like they used to.

Jane wondered what it was going to be like to not being able to keep the same friendship with Maura after she leaves.

She sighed, running a hand through her curly hair as she drove to Maura's house. She tried to call her a few times, but her friend hasn't responded to her calls and texts. _It's probably because she doesn't want to be disturbed on her yoga session or something, _she thought.

When she arrived at Maura's, she knocked on her best friend's door. She waited there a few seconds with her arms crossed over her chest. Maura didn't came. Jane began to worry a little because it was late and dark outside and Maura was always at home after dinner.

Jane searched for a key. She put her hands on the door moldings to see if she could reach a key. She didn't find one. She looked at her feet to see if Maura had a carpet in front of her door. When she didn't find any, she looked around her to see anything that could help her to open her partner's door.

She looked at the ground and saw some flowers. In front of them, there was a stone. Jane picked it and turned it upside. There it was.

She took the key and opened the door with it. She stepped in Maura's house, closed the door and locked it behind her. The lights were closed. She turned them on and started to walk in the kitchen.

She went in the living room and looked out of the window to see if Maura's car was there. It was there. Walking back in the kitchen, she put her keys on the counter as she started to make her way upstairs.

She looked in every room, but didn't find anyone. When she opened the door of Maura's Yoga room, the lights were on, but nobody was there. She stayed there for a little while before turning off the lights and closing the door.

The next room was Maura's bedroom. She didn't know if Maura was in there, but she knocked on her door to be sure she wasn't going to disturb her if she entered. When she didn't get any answer, she opened the door and stepped in the room.

Even if it was dark, Jane could see her best friend laying on her bed, sleeping. She started to walk slowly toward the bed, and kneeled next to it. She just sat there for a while, watching her partner sleeping.

Maura's eyes were puffy and red. Jane knew she has been crying. But why? Why her best friend had been so sad today? She felt bad for her. She didn't like to see Maura like this.

Jane brought her hand up to Maura's face and began to remove her hair from her face. Maura started to open her eyes slowly and smiled when she saw who was standing in front of her. ''Hi'' She said. ''Hey'', Jane answered. ''How are you feeling?'' she continued. ''I'm okay…'' was the only answer she got from her friend. ''Hives, Maur!'' Jane said with a little smile. Maura smiled weakly but didn't respond. ''I tried to call you a few times but you didn't answer. I thought we were going out tonight.'' Jane said. Maura closed her eyes for a while and opened them once again. ''I'm sorry, I closed my phone because I didn't really want to talk to anyone. And I forgot we were supposed to go to the Robber. '' She sighed and looked at Jane before continuing. '' I was very tired so went to bed. I should've called you, I'm sorry.'' She said. Jane nodded and said '' It's okay. I had some problems to unlock the door, so I used the stone that was on the ground in front of the flowers.'' Maura's eyes were wide opened before she said '' what!?'' Jane chuckled '' don't worry, I used the key that was below the stone.'' Jane said, still smiling at her friend. ''Well, I won't stay any longer. I'll let you rest.'' Jane stood up and started to walk out of Maura's bedroom, when Maura grabbed her by the wrist ''wait'' she said. ''Can you stay? I mean, it's okay if you don't want to I just thought…'' She wasn't able to finish her sentence, so she stopped talking and waited for Jane to say something. Jane stared at her friend for a moment and then smiled. ''Of course'' She said.

Maura smiled and said '' I got some clothes for you in the wardrobe, if you want.'' Maura stood up and walked toward her big wardrobe. '' I need to text Casey, I'll be right back'' Jane said. Maura smiled at her and entered in her wardrobe to pick up something comfortable for her friend.

Jane got out of Maura's bedroom and picked up her phone to text her boyfriend.

_I'm staying at Maura's tonight, don't wait for me. J xx_

_Okay, see you tomorrow, bby. Love you. C x_

Jane didn't respond, she just stared at her phone for a minute and smiled when she heard Maura's voice. ''I got this sweat shirt and those pants, I don't know if you're okay with them.'' Maura said, as she came out of her room with the clothes between her hands. ''Thanks'' Jane said as she took the clothes from Maura's arms.

…

Jane and Maura were laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Maura closed her eyes for a moment before Jane spoke. ''What is it, Maura?'' Jane asked when she turned her head toward her friend. ''Nothing, Jane. I am fine.'' Maura said. She sighed and turned her head to look in Jane's eyes. ''You're not fine, Maur. You started to act weird in the lab and Frost told me you were crying when he came to get the lab results.'' Jane ran a hand through her hair and spoke again. '' And I know you cried before you fell asleep. I saw your eyes, Maura. They were red and puffy. Please, don't hide things from me.''

Maura sighed and closed her eyes. ''Jane, I don't want to talk about it, right now. Can you just wait?'' She said as she opened her eyes to look into Jane's beautiful eyes. Her friend nodded and took her hand. ''I don't know if it's really important, Maura. But I don't want you to be hurt. You can tell me anything. '' Jane said.

Maura felt her heart beat and smiled at Jane. ''I know.'' She said and sighed. ''Thank you, Jane.'' She said with a smile. Jane smiled and started at the ceiling ''anytime.''

…

Maura woke up by the light shining in her room. She took her phone to see what time it was. 6:45. She still had 1 hour. She stood up and noticed that her bed was empty. She wondered where Jane was before she heard the sound of a broken glass downstairs. ''Jeez, can you tell me what the hell are you doing here? Damn turtle.''

Maura chuckled and made her way downstairs where she found Jane cleaning her kitchen floor. '' Language, Jane. And Bass is a tortoise.'' Maura said with a smile on her face. Jane chuckled and looked at Maura.

Jane was stunned by Maura's beauty in the morning. Of course, she was always gorgeous, but to see Maura in her pyjama, without any make up and her messy hair was probably the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.

Jane smiled one more time '' well, tell your _tortoise_ to get out of my way when I'm trying to make coffee in the morning.'' She said, and Maura chuckled ''Well, when you make coffee in the morning, _open your eyes''_ Maura said as she was helping Jane to clean the mess on the floor. ''No! Maura, are you crazy? I can't do that. Open my eyes when I'm making coffee… It's… too dangerous for me.'' Jane said, and Maura was laughing and shaking her head at the same time. ''You're terrible.'' Maura confessed as she threw the broken cup in the trash.

Maura looked at Jane and they held the gaze for a while. Jane broke the silence first ''I should probably get going. I need to shower and we got a lot of work.'' Maura nodded ''Wait, your clothes are in the bathroom, aren't you going to change?'' She asked. Jane took her keys and opened the door. ''I'll change in the car. Thank you, Maura. See ya at work.'' She said, before closing the door behind her. ''Bye… I love you'' Maura whispered to herself before making her way upstairs to get herself ready for work.


	3. Chapter 3

Maura arrived at the BPD one hour after Jane left her house. She took a shower and took a cup of tea but she didn't eat anything because she wasn't really hungry.

Over her red shirt, the blond was wearing a white skirt that stopped above her knees and a pair of heels that matched her shirt. Her hair was pulled back on a pony tail and her outfit was completed by a pair of beautiful white earrings.

When she reached the doors of the BPD, she was making her way downstairs to take a look on the bodies that were brought at the morgue this morning, before she saw Angela standing behind the counter of the Café. Maura thought it would be a good idea to drink a coffee, because she didn't eat this morning and she was so tired.

She started to walk toward the counter when she saw Frankie standing in front of it. He was wearing jeans and a black jacket. The detective was holding a cup of coffee and eating his breakfast while he was talking to his mother. Angela was wearing a white shirt with a pair of jeans and her green apron. Her elbow was on the counter and her chin was resting on the palm of her hand.

The mother seemed concentrated on her conversation with her son before she turned her head toward Maura and smiled when she saw her 'second daughter' walking toward them.

Maura smiled, too, and placed her purse on the counter in front of her. She sit next to Frankie and Angela said ''Umph, you look tired, my dear. Want some bunny pancakes?'' The woman smiled once again at the medical examiner that looked exhausted. Maura smiled politely and shook her head. ''No, thank you, Angela. I am not really hungry.'' Said Maura.

Maura didn't know why, but it has been almost 3 days since she had eat something. She looked pale and tiny, but she didn't care. The only things she wanted to care about right now, was work and Jane.

''Are you okay, Maura?'' Angela snapped Maura out of her thoughts as she was holding a cup a coffee for the woman in front of her. Maura took the coffee and smiled. ''I am fine, Angela. Thank you.'' Said Maura before she stood up from her seat. '' I have to go downstairs. They brought two bodies at the morgue this morning and I have some paperwork to finish. Thank you for the coffee.'' Maura said, as she started to make her way out of the café.

Frankie took a sip of his coffee before her mother started to talk. ''She looks a bit… out of it… don't you think?'' said Angela with a worried look on her face. Frankie looked down at his hands and nodded. ''Yeah, I noticed. But Maura is an adult. And a medical examiner. Her days aren't all colorful.'' Frankie said as he took another sip of his coffee. ''yeah… But still… Maura isn't like this. She always looks so happy and make other people smile…'' Angela answered as she took a washcloth to clean the counter. ''And she always says yes when I ask her if she wants some bunny pancakes, so…'' Angela said. ''Maybe Jane should talk to her.'' She continues. ''Ma, Jane is her best friend. She probably already noticed Maura's strange behavior.'' He said as he stood up from his seat. ''She probably talked to her already.'' Frankie took his keys, finished is coffee and kissed his mother on the cheek. ''You're right. I'll ask Jane.'' Angela said. Frankie shrugged and left the café.

…

Maura sat down on her chair in her office and put her face in her hands. She sighed, opened a file that was on her desk and started to work. She felt tired. She slept well last night, but only because she knew Jane was next to her. Since Casey came back, she was unable to sleep properly. She kept wondering if Jane was going to leave her.

What was she going to do without her? Jane is her best friend, her family. Of course, she has Angela, Frost, Frankie and Korsak, but if she loses Jane, she loses everyone. Jane is the only one who's able to understand her. She's so scared to lose her.

Maura tried to stop thinking about all of this, but she couldn't. Every time she was upset, work would help her to stop thinking and concentrate on what she loved to do. But that was different. Jane was more important than her work.

Unable to work, she put her pen down and sighed. She rubbed her eyes, stood up and started to walk toward the couch. She sat down and put her face if her hands once again. Tears were shining in her eyes but she took some deep breath and tried to think about something else.

A few minutes after she sat down, she took off her heels and laid herself on the couch. She put both of her hands on her stomach, and tried to breathe deeply as she closed her eyes. She didn't want to sleep, but she wanted to rest a little. She was tired and couldn't focus on her work, so she stayed like this for a while, thinking about the case. She didn't have time to get up, she fell asleep on her couch in her office.

…

Jane arrived at the BPD with Frost and a handcuffed suspect. Jane looked at Frost, and the detective nodded as he understood that Jane wanted to go to the café.

Jane saw her mother and she started to walk toward her. She sat down in front of the counter and called her mother. The detective sighed and ran a hand through her curls as Angela arrived. ''Hey, ma.'' She said. ''Can you bring me a cup of coffee, please?'' She asked to her mother. Angela stared at her daughter and nodded a few seconds later.

''Where's Maur?'' Jane asked as she took the cup of coffee that her mother handed her. ''Last time I saw her, she told me she was going downstairs to take a look on the bodies they brought this morning.'' Angela answered. ''Are you two alright?'' She asked. Jane took a sip of her coffee and looked at her mother with a confused look on her face. ''Yeah, why do you ask?'' She answered. Angela shrugged and said ''She looked tired… Very tired'', her mother answered.

Jane nodded and cleared her throat. ''yeah, I know. She was sleeping, last night when I went to her house. We were supposed to go out but she didn't answered my calls. So I went and checked. She was sleeping when I arrived.'' She said and ran her hand through her hair once again before she continued. ''She woke up a few minutes later and asked me if I wanted to stay.''

Her mother nodded '' did you talk to her?'' She asked. Jane nodded and said ''Yeah, I told her if she wanted to talk I was there. But she said thank you and she fell asleep.''

Her mother nodded once again and sighed. ''So you did notice she is acting strangely.'' She asked with a serious expression on her face. Jane nodded as she swallowed her coffee. ''I did… Maybe it's about Hope and Doyle.'' She said. Her mother sighed and said ''Yeah, but it's been almost 3 years since she knows about them. Why would she start to act like this, right now?'' Her mother asked.

Jane shrugged, stood up and took her jacket. ''I don't know, ma. I'll talk to her. You told me she was downstairs, right?'' She asked. Angela nodded and waved at Jane.

…

Jane got out of the elevator and started to make her way toward the morgue. She opened the door of the room, but Maura wasn't there. She thought it was weird because there were two bodies on the tables and the autopsies weren't done. Maura always did the autopsies. She never waited.

Jane made her way to the lab and entered. She looked around and saw some Scientifics, but her friend wasn't in there, either.

As she started to leave the lab, she saw Susie and stopped walking and told Susie to stop. ''Wait, Have you seen Doctor Isles?'' She asked to the woman in front of her as she put both of her hands in her pockets.

''Last time I saw her, she was in her office doing some paperwork.'' Susie answered as she looked at the taller woman. Jane nodded and said thank you before making her way to Maura's office.

…

Jane arrived at Maura's office and knocked. She entered and looked down at Maura's desk, but she wasn't there. She looked around the office and found the tiny woman sleeping peacefully on the couch.

Jane walked toward the couch and sat next to her friend's legs. She started to shake her a little and Maura opened her eyes slowly. Maura stood up quickly and rubbed her eyes.

''Oh my god, I fell asleep? I'm so sorry'' She said. Jane chuckled and shook her head. '' It's okay, Maura. Nobody knows. Are you feeling alright?'' Jane asked as she rubbed Maura's legs.

Maura nodded and got up of the couch. ''I'm okay, Jane'' she answered quickly and started to hug herself a little. Jane looked at Maura's pale face and frowned. ''Maura, if you're too tired to work, you should go home and rest.'' Jane said. Maura shook her head and said '' no, Jane. I have a lot of work to do. I shouldn't have fell asleep. I have a lot of work to do.'' She said as she reached her desk and took some files.

Jane watched her friend leave and she felt her phone buzzing in the pocket. She picked up her phone and looked at the screen. It was Casey. She wanted to go see Maura and talk to her because she was worried, but instead, she walked toward the elevator and called Casey. Maybe Maura needed some time.

…

**I just want to thank the people who followed/faved/reviewed the story. I really appreciate it. Thank you.**

**I don't know how many chapters this fanficiton is going to have, but we'll see how it goes. **

**I accept the bad/good comments, let me know what you think.**

**MA**


	4. Chapter 4

Maura was exhausted. She wanted to go home and sleep. She didn't want to work, didn't want to eat, didn't want to talk to anybody, she just wanted to sleep.

She couldn't concentrate on the autopsy. She could barely keep both of her eyes open. Maura didn't know why she was so tired. She didn't know why she couldn't focus on her work. She has never been like this. She was doctor Isles, the Chief medical examiner of Massachusetts.

Maura stopped performing her autopsy and looked at the clock that was in the corner of the room. It was 9:16 pm. It was late, and she thought maybe it would be the best for her, and the victim, if she just stopped and go home. She was unable to focus on what she was doing and she would never forgive herself if she missed up the autopsy. Jane wouldn't forgive her.

Jane. Maybe the detective was the reason of her strange behavior. She knew she wasn't really herself lately. Was it because of Jane? Was it because of Casey? No. It couldn't be because of them. She was happy for them. Was she? She didn't know. And she didn't want to think about it. She wanted to go and sleep. She needed to rest, to be alone.

The M.E took off her lab coat, pulled the white sheet over the dead body in front of her, and started to make her way toward her office.

As she reached her desk, she took some files that were on it and stored them. After she put on her coat and her scarf, she started to walk toward the elevator pushed the button.

As she stepped in the elevator, she sighed and straightened herself. She picked up her phone and stared at the screen. 3 missed called. They were all from Jane.

Should she call her back? No. Maura didn't want to talk to anybody. And Jane would notice the tiredness in her voice and would ask her what's wrong. Maura would tell her that everything is fine, but Jane wouldn't believe her and she would want to come over.

Maura didn't want her best friend to see how exhausted she was. And Jane was supposed to spend the night with her fiancé tonight.

Her fiancé. Jane was going to marry Casey. The man that left her when he got an accident in Afghanistan. The man that left her when she needed him. The man that hurt her and then came back and asked her to marry him or he would go back to Afghanistan.

And now Jane is leaving Maura for him. Her best friend. The woman that helped and comforted her when this bastard left. But Jane loved him. She didn't want Casey to leave her again, so she decided to marry him.

Maura had to accept it. She had to accept the fact that her only friend was leaving her. Every time she thought about it, she could feel this big pinch on her heart. It hurt so much. She was going to miss Jane.

Maura heard the little "ding" when the doors of the elevator opened. She sighed, stepped out and made her way toward her doors of the BPD.

…

Jane was worried. Maura hadn't returned her calls. She knew she was probably still working and she was probably very buzzy. But Maura always called her back. As soon as she noticed she had a missed call from Jane, she would call her best friend back. But she didn't.

The detective bit her lip and sighed. She was sit on her couch, knees to her chest, and a blanket was covering her shoulders. Casey was next to her and he was watching the news. She looked at her boyfriend and smiled at him. Casey smiled back but his smile faded as he noticed Jane's face.

''You okay?'' He asked as he frowned and put a hand on the detective's knee.

''Yeah.'' Jane said as she nodded her head. She looked down at her hands and brought her eyes back to meet Casey's. ''It's just… Maura hasn't returned my calls.'' She said as she looked away and ran her hand through her curls.

''She's probably already asleep.'' He said as he looked at the clock. ''Or she's still working. Don't worry, Jane.'' He said and Jane nodded and sighed.

''yeah… It's just… She's been acting strangely lately and I'm getting worried. Since I showed her my ring she's just…'' Jane answered as she sighed once again.

''Do you think she approves our relationship?'' He asked as he took Jane's hand. Jane frowned a little.

''I don't know… We didn't really talk about this. But it can't be because of that, right? I mean, even if she didn't approve our relationship, it couldn't be the reason of why she's been acting like this lately, right?'' Jane said as she looked at him in the eyes. Casey shrugged and stood up from the couch.

''I don't know, but if it isn't the reason why, it's none of our business.'' He said. Jane shrugged, too.

_Maura is my business. _She thought. The detective stood up after a few seconds and followed Casey into her bedroom.

…

Maura walked into the kitchen and put her keys on the counter. She looked around the room and sighed. She took off her coat and ran her hands in her hair.

God, she was exhausted. She was so tired and she didn't know why. She slept well the last two days and she even slept on her couch at work. Why was she so tired? Why couldn't she focus at work?

She didn't want to think. Her head hurt and her eyes couldn't stay opened. She rubbed her temples and made her way toward her couch in the living room. She sat down and put her face in her hands as she sighed. The M.E rubbed her eyes and laid herself on the couch.

With her hands on her stomach, she stared at the ceiling and took some deep breaths. Why was she acting like this? This wasn't her.

As she sat up on the couch again, she started to think about the moments her and Jane spent here. She kept thinking about her partner when she was screaming at the tv when the baseball was on. About the times she and Jane were there, talking with a glass of wine and their bodies were covered with a blanket. They were laughing at Jane's sarcasm.

She smiled at the thoughts and wiped away the tear that rolled down her cheek. As she sighed, she stood up and walked up the stairs.

She walked toward her bedroom and closed the door. Maura sat down on her bed and stared down at her hands.

Jane was really going to leave her. She was going to marry Casey and leave Boston. Her best friend was starting a new life without her.

…

'' Maura?'' She heard her friend closing the front door as she was yelling her name. Maura was still in bed, the sheets were up to her chin. She sighed and sat up. Why was Jane here? It was only 7 and she was supposed to meet her partner at work at 8:30.

As she made her way downstairs, she saw Jane in the kitchen, trying to make coffee again. She smiled a little as she reached the counter.

''What are you doing here, Jane? I thought I would meet you at work.'' Maura asked as she sat down and took the cup of coffee that Jane handed her.

''Well, good morning to you, too, Doctor Isles.'' Jane said and she smiled and took a sip of her coffee. '' You didn't returned my calls, yesterday; I thought it would be a good idea if I came to check on you. And we could go to work together.'' She said

''I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, detective. Thank you for the coffee.'' Maura said as she rubbed her temples.

'' You alright?'' Jane asked.

''I'm fine, Jane.'' Maura answered quickly. ''I just have a slight headache.'' She continued. Jane stared at her friend for a moment and asked

''C'mon, Maur, talk to me.'' She said. Maura sighed and looked at the woman in front of her.

''I am fine. I'm just tired.'' She answered as she stood up and walked toward the couch. She sat down and sighed. Jane followed the doctor and sat down next to her.

''Maura, You are _not _fine. You look exhausted and…sad, I don't know. You're never like this and it isn't normal. I am worried about you, Maura.'' Jane said as she took Maura's hands. ''Please, Maura. Let me help you.'' She continued. Maura sighed and looked at her hands.

''Jane, I _will_ talk to you. I just… I can't, now.'' Maura answered as she looked into Jane's eyes. The detective nodded and pulled Maura in her arms. Maura closed her eyes as she tried to ignore the tears that were forming in her eyes.

''Thank you, Jane.''


	5. Chapter 5

**So, first of all, I want to thank everyone who reviewed. I very appreciate the kind words and comments. Some of you told me it was a good start and I should keep going, you guys have to know that it means a lot more than you think.**

**It is my first fanfiction, so I know that the chapters aren't really long.**

**I want to apologize for the stupid mistakes I made like 'it didn't happened'. Haha, **_**Bravo**_** to me. I'll do my best for the next chapters.**

**Woot woot **

**Ups **

…

Maura has been avoiding Jane for nearly two weeks. They kept seeing each other at work, but they didn't really act like they were best friends. The partners were completely professional around each other and they haven't talked about what wasn't related to the investigation they were working on.

Jane noticed that some things between her and Maura have changed. Their friendship wasn't the same anymore and she also noticed that since her and Maura stopped spending time together like they used to, her and Casey were getting more and more closer and their relationship was getting stronger.

She didn't know if it was a good thing that her and her fiancé's relationship was getting stronger _because _Maura started to avoid her.

Maybe it was good for her, because she knew that she was going to leave after she married Casey. She knew it was going to be hard for her _and_ Maura if she left. Maybe it would be easier if she and Maura just stopped being friends.

No. This wasn't going to happen this way. She couldn't just leave Maura like this. Maura was her best friend. She was her partner and the person she trusted the most. She has been through the worst and the best with her. Jane didn't _want_ to leave Maura.

She was going to talk to Maura about the situation. She didn't want their friendship to change. She wanted them to stay best friends and partners.

The detective stepped out of the elevator as she was looking around to see if she could find Maura anywhere else than her office. When she reached Maura's office, she knocked and waited. She sighed as she ran a hand through her curls before she heard a voice behind the door telling her to come in.

As she opened the door, she noticed the medical examiner seated on her chair, her eyes looking at the files in front of her.

She stepped in, closing the door behind her and sighed. Maura raised her head and smiled at the women in front of her as she closed her files and put her pen down.

''Hi, Jane'' The ME said before she stood up from her desk and started to make her way toward the morgue.

She walked behind the autopsy table and took a file that was on it and handed it to Jane before she said:

''I finished the autopsy about 2 hours ago. I wanted to go upstairs and give it to you but I had to finish some paper work first,'' She said. Jane took the file that was in Maura's hand. After looking at the file for a moment, she looked at Maura confused and the doctor smiled.

'' Why did you do the autopsy without me? '' Jane asked to the women in front of her. Maura looked at her partner with a confused look.

''What do you mean?'' The blonde asked as she put her hands on the table that was between her and Jane.

''I mean that I am always there when you do an autopsy, Maura,'' She answered before she sighed. Maura frowned and shook her head.

''I am perfectly capable to do an autopsy on my own, Jane.'' The doctor said as she stepped back a little and shook her head again.

''I know, I'm just sayin' you never-'' Jane said, but she was unable to finish her sentence, so she sighed and ran her hand through her head one more time. Both of them were confused as they looked in each other's eyes without saying anything. ''Look, I'm sorry I don't know why- Thank you for the file. '' Jane continued. Maura nodded and said

'' Sure. I'm sorry, too, I should've waited to do the autopsy.'' The ME answered. Jane looked at her hands and nodded.

''Look, maybe it isn't the right time, but… I was going to ask you if we could talk about something tonight.'' Jane said. Maura shrugged and lookeddown at her hands.

''I can't tonight. I have to finish my…''

''No, Maura. We need to talk _tonight. ''_ Jane said as she looked at Maura in the eyes. Maura nodded and sighed.

Jane kept looking at Maura for a few seconds before she felt her phone buzzing in her pocket. She picked her phone up and looked at it to see who texted her. It was her mother. She sighed and turned around to make her way upstairs.

Maura was still behind the autopsy table, looking at her hands. She looked like she was about to cry, but she just took a deep breath and looked at the clock that was in the corner of the room. 6:30 pm. She decided it was time to go home. For the first in three weeks, she was hungry.

As the doctor reached her office, she took off her lab coat and turned off her phone before she took her keys and her coat and left the building.

…

Jane sat down on the seat in front of the counter of the café. She put her elbows on the counter and put her head in her hands. As she sighed, she heard her mother walking toward her. She lifted her head and smiled at Angela.

''Hi, sweetheart! '' Angela said as she kissed her daughter's cheek.

''Hey, Ma'' She answered as she turned around and saw Maura opened the doors of the BPD and stepped out of the building. Jane's smile faded as she sighed.

''Are you okay, Janie?'' Her mother asked as she handed her a cup of coffee. Jane took the coffee and said:

''Don't call me like that!'' She said as she took a sip of her coffee and winced because it was hot. ''And I'm okay.'' She continued.

''Well, is _Maura_ okay?'' her mother asked as she put both of her hands on the counter and looked at her daughter. Jane looked down at her hands and answered

''I don't know, Ma. I hope so.'' She looked toward the doors and took another sip of her coffee.

…

The medical examiner stepped in her house before she closed the door behind her. She walked toward the kitchen and put her purse on the counter. She sat down on a chair and put her head in her hands. She rubbed her face and stood up before taking a look at the mails that were on the table.

_Office of the Medical Examiner_

_401 E Street, SW, Washington,_

_DC, 20024_

Maura looked at the envelope in her hands and bit her bottom lip. As she sighed, she opened it and took the letter in her hands as she put the envelope down on the table.

'' _Dr. Isles,_

_We received your letter. We have the pleasure to tell you that we think you have the skills to be a part of the Medical Examiner's office and to operate by the authority of the laws of the state of Washington. This is your only opportunity…''_

She didn't have time to finish the letter when she heard a knock on her door. She put the letter under the envelope on the counter and she made her way toward the door.

Before she reached the door, she saw someone stepping in her house and closing the door behind her.

''Hey, Maur'' Jane said as she saw her partner in the middle of the kitchen. ''I tried to call you but you didn't pick up.'' She said as she put the two cups of coffee on the table.

''Yes, I know, I turned my phone off'' She answered as she put both of her hands in her pockets. Jane nodded and sat down.

''So… '' Jane said as she rubbed her knees.

'' So?'' Maura answered as she sat down next to Jane and took a sip of her coffee.

''Will you tell what's wrong?'' The detective asked. Maura rolled her eyes and sighed.

''Nothing is wrong, Jane!'' She said as she stood up and walked behind the counter that was now separating her and her friend. Jane stood up as well but stayed where she was.

''Don't lie to me, Maura! You can't lie. I know something's wrong. You've been acting weird these last few weeks and you've been avoiding me! You don't eat and you look _exhausted_. I'm not the only one who noticed it! I just don't think it's normal.'' Jane wasn't finished but she was cut off by Maura.

''And you think I find all of this normal?! Nothing is normal since Casey came back! _You_ aren't normal, _I_ am not normal, nothing is _normal_. Haven't you noticed you've been shutting me out since he asked you to marry him?'' She said and paused before continuing. '' But you just don't care. It's all about _you_! You don't care what you family, your partners or _me_ think about your decisions. You think you can just leave us and go leave with the one that shut you out of his life until he could use his _legs. _You're going to marry the one who-''

'' I never said I was going to marry him!'' Jane shouted as she pointed Maura with her finger.

''Really? Because I can see that ring you're wearing right now. I don't know about you, but _I_ know that when someone accepts the ring, it means '_yes'_. And I know you want to marry him, Jane. But you only see what you _want_ to see in Casey. You think he's perfect, but he's _using_ you, Jane. He doesn't love you. And you don't have to believe me, but it is the _truth._'' She wanted to say more, but she couldn't.

The doctor felt the tears that were falling down her cheek and she wiped them furiously. She took a deep breath and looked into Jane's eyes.

Jane's eyes were filled with tears, but didn't want to cry. The detective looked at her hands and started to play with her ring. She lifted her head and looked at the woman in front of her.

''I thought you were my best friend. I-I thought you understand. I thought you-'' She tried to finish her sentence but she was cut off by the doctor one more time.

''I am tired to be the one who understands, Jane. I am tired to be the one who's always there for her _best friend, _the one who doesn't feel anything, the one who has to sit there and listen to everything _you _have to say, everything that _you_ feel.'' She yelled before she wiped her tears. '' But _I _have feelings, too, Jane. _I _need to say things, too.'' Jane just stared at her. She knew she was right, but she didn't want to believe her.

Jane felt one tear falling down her cheek but she had time to wipe it off before it could reach her chin. She looked away from her friend and found the envelope that was at the end of the counter. She moved, took it in her hands and began to read it.

Before Maura could react, she had already finished reading it. Maura just stared at Jane to look what her partner was going to do.

Jane looked at the letter for a while before she looked at Maura and said with a cracked voice

''You're leaving?''

…

**Tum tum tum… oops.**

**I know, I know, I haven't updated in forever and I am so sooooorry**

**This was the longest chapter and I really hope you guys enjoyed it. Tell me if you liked it. Should I continue?**

**Woot woot**

**Ups. x **


	6. Chapter 6

_Jane looked at the letter for a while before she looked up at Maura and said with a cracked voice_

''_You're leaving?''_

Maura opened her mouth to say something but closed it as quickly as she opened it. She didn't know what to say. Jane wasn't supposed to know it. Not yet. Not like this. Maura didn't even know if she was leaving. She had thought about it, but didn't make her decision.

Maybe starting a new life was the right thing to do. Leave her home, leave the BPD, leave Boston, and leave Jane. No. She wasn't leaving her. Jane was the one who was leaving her.

Jane was still looking at her and she was shocked. She had the letter in her right hand and her mouth was wide open. She didn't know what to say either. How could Maura do this to her?

''Why? " She asked to her friend that was behind the counter, playing with her ring.

''Why? What else am I supposed to do, Jane?! '' The doctor answers as she looked at her friend in the eyes. Jane was an intelligent woman. Maura didn't understand why she was asking her why she was leaving.

'' I don't know, Maura. How could you do that? How could you leave me like-'' She wanted to say more, but she stopped talking when she heard her friend forcing a laugh.

'' Leaving _you?_ _You _are leaving _me, _Jane!'' The ME said. What was happening? Did Jane really think that she could do this to someone who was supposed to be her best friend? She was tired of being the one who was perfect and had to do everything that everyone was telling her. ''Do you really think I would to something like this to you, Jane? Do you really think I would write a letter to some medical examiners to ask them if they could give me a job in Washington because I'm bored and I don't want to work at the BPD anymore? Because I would never do this, Jane.'' She continued as she looked at her friend that was in front of her.

Jane didn't know what to do or say. She knew Maura was right, but she didn't want to believe her. She was looking down at her hands and shaking her head.

''I never said I was leaving'' The detective responded, but as soon as she finished her sentence, Maura started to talk.

''Oh, Please! You _want _to leave Boston, you _want _to marry _him._'' Maura said. She was so angry that her body started to shake. ''You want to go with _him_, because you're going to spend the rest of your _life_ with him. You want to think that everything is going to be perfect if you go with him, huh?'' She threw her hands in the air before she continued. ''But it's not true. You think everything is going to be perfect if you quit your _job_. You're tired of being scared and having nightmares every time you think too much about the case we're working on. You want to give up on everything you love because you're _scared_. You're afraid that you'll screw everything up so you want to _leave_. You want to leave your work, you want to leave your family, you want to leave _me, _for _Casey._'' Maura put both of her arms on the counter. She was so tired. She calmed down a little and looked at Jane who was playing with her hands.

''I'm sure you have great reasons of why you want to go, Jane. But you have never asked yourself what it would do to your family, you friends or _me_.'' She said calmly. Her body shook, her voice was raspy and she could feel the tears coming.

''I'm sorry… '' Jane said, close to tears. She didn't look at Maura; she kept looking at her hands, unable to say anything. ''I just thought that-''

''You _thought_ that it was the right thing to do? It's always the same excuse, Jane.'' The EM said to her partner before a single tear escaped.

She wiped the tear furiously. She wanted to be strong because she knew that Jane didn't like to see her cry and the medical examiner didn't want her best friend to be agreed with her because she was crying. She wanted Jane to know that she was right.

Jane nodded, still looking at her at her hands. She sat down, sighed and rubbed her eyes. For the first time, the detective didn't know how to control the situation. She felt helpless and weak. Maura was right. _No._ She wasn't. Maybe? Was she really afraid like Maura said?

'' You're right. I'm scared. I'm _terrified_. And yes I think that if I go with Casey, quit everything and start all over, it'll work. But I would never leave _you_, Maur.'' Jane said as a tear slid down her cheek.

''But you are, Jane. And you already did. When you showed up at work with this ring around your finger, I knew that you had already left.''

'' I just don't understand _why you _are leaving. Your home is here, Maura. Your family's here. Ma's here, Frankie, Frost, Kor-''

''Oh my god, don't you understand? _You _are my home; _you _are my family, Jane. You know I consider your mom, your brothers and partners like my family, but if I lose you, I lose everyone, including myself!'' The blonde said as she stepped back a little and looked away from her friend.

Jane's face was flooded with tears. She wasn't looking at Maura either because she didn't want her best friend to see her like this.

''Is that why you have been acting like this lately?'' The detective said as she wiped her tears away. Maura smirked and looked at her friend.

''No'' She said firmly. Jane was surprised by her friend's answer. She thought she knew everything. She thought that after Maura's speech, she could just fix everything before leaving.

_Leaving_. Was she really leaving? Honestly, she didn't know. Maura was right. She couldn't just leave everyone and everything like this. She couldn't leave _Maura _like this.

''Are you going to tell me why you've been acting strangely these past few weeks? '' The brunette asked. Maura ran a hand through her messy hair and sighed. She couldn't tell Jane. Not yet.

It was hard for her to admit why she was so sad and lost since Jane 'decided' to marry Casey. She didn't know how her best friend would to react so she just looked down at her hand and said nothing.

Jane understood that Maura wasn't going to tell her so she nodded and took her keys that were in front of Maura's letter, at the end of the counter. She looked at Maura, who was still looking at her hands and fighting the tears that were about to fall.

''I don't know why you won't tell me, Maur. I don't know if you're upset because someone hurt you or something. But I _can't_ help you if you don't tell me.''

''If only I could tell you…'' She started as she looked at her friend.

''But why, Maura! Tell me why you can't te-''

''I just can't!'' Maura yelled as she shook her head. It wasn't because she didn't trust Jane; it was because she knew it wasn't the right time to talk about it right now. She was exhausted and angry at Jane. She just wanted her friend to leave her alone.

The detective nodded, turned around and made her way toward the door. Before turning the handle, she looked at Maura one last time and said

''I'm so sorry, Maura.''

Maura just stood there and watched her friend leave. The tears were falling down her cheek as she slid down the counter and put her knees up to her chest. She rested her head on the top of her knees and closed her eyes.

Jane was leaving. She already knew that, but she didn't want to believe it. It hurt to know that her best friend was going to leave Boston with the man who left her more than once. He didn't deserve her.

The doctor just stayed there and kept thinking about what happened tonight with Jane. She didn't want to cry, but she didn't stop the tears that were falling down her cheeks. God, she felt so tired and she didn't want to move.

Jane got in her car and closed the door before she took her keys and started the car. She wasn't mad at Maura, she was mad at herself. How could she just give up on everything she had for Casey?

_No._ It wasn't Casey's fault. It wasn't hers either. She and Casey were happy. Everything was doing fine and she loved him. Did she? Yes. _No._

She looked in front of her, thinking about what she should do. Leave her family, quit her job and become a wife, or leave her fiancé.

God, she didn't know what to do. It was so hard.

She put both of her hands on the wheel and took a deep breath. The tears were shining in her eyes. Her hands were shaking but she couldn't stop it.

And she broke down. She put her head in her hands and sobbed until there were no more tears. It hurt. Everything hurt. She couldn't do it. She couldn't leave her family, she couldn't leave _Maura._

Maura was the most important person of her life. She was her partner, her best friend, her _family_. Maura meant everything to her. She couldn't give up on her. She _loved_ Maura and Jane needed her more than anything.

As soon as her sobs became quiet, she took another deep breath and rubbed her eyes before she started to drive to her home.

When Jane reached her apartment, she opened the door and stepped in. When she turned around, she noticed that the TV was off and everything in her apartment was dark.

The brunette made her way toward the counter and put her keys on it before she sighed and looked around the kitchen and the living room.

Where was Casey?

She didn't know. And she didn't want to know. She just wanted to drink her beer on her couch and watch the TV without thinking about Maura or Casey.

After taking a beer that was in the fridge, she walked toward the couch her sat down.

God, she was so tired. She put her head in her hands and sighed. She didn't want to lose Maura.

_No. Stop thinking about her, Jane._ She told herself as she turned the TV on.

…

30 minutes later, Jane found herself asleep with her head laid on the back of her couch. The detective woke up when she heard a knock on her door. Who was there? She look behind her, looked at the clocked and saw it was 1 am.

She stood up and heard another knock on the door.

''I'm coming!'' She said before opening the door and saw the woman who was standing in front of her. ''What are you doing here, Ma!?'' The detective asked.

Angela was smiling at her daughter and she was holding a pillow with her right and her purse on the other.

''Well, hello, baby, you look great, too.'' Her mother said. Jane rolled her eyes and turned around. ''Why are you awake? It's past 1 am!'' She said as she stepped in and closed the door of Jane's apartment.

''What are you doing here? It's past 1 am! '' Jane said as she threw her hands in the air. Angela rolled her eyes, too and looked at her daughter.

''Where's Casey?'' The older woman asked as she put her things on Jane's couch and made her way toward the kitchen, where the detective was.

''I don't know,'' answered Jane as she took a sip of her beer.

''Oh, no… What happened?'' Angela asked her daughter before she put her hands down on the counter. Jane sighed and looked at her mother.

''Nothing, Ma''

''Where's Maura?''

''She's at home, Ma, why are you asking all these questions?'' The brunette said.

''Maybe because you don't know where your boyfriend is, Maura isn't with you and you fell asleep in your clothes!''

''Yeah, and- How do you know I fell asleep?'' Jane asked.

''it isn't important!'' Her mother said. ''What happened tonight, Janie?'' She asked, again. Jane took a deep breath and looked down at her hands. Tears were shining in her eyes as she opened her mouth to say something but closed it, again. Angela was looking at her daughter with a worried look. She took her daughter's hand before Jane opened her mouth again and started to talk.

''I can't leave, Ma. I can't go without her.'' She began.

''Janie, what are you talking about, baby?'' Her mother asked. Jane sighed and wiped her tears away.

'' I can't marry Casey, Ma! I can't leave Maura.'' The brunette said.

''Oh, baby, come here, sweetheart.'' Said Angela as she walked toward her daughter and hugged her tight. ''Do you love her?''

''What? Of course, Ma. Maura's my best friend.'' Answered Jane, before she stepped back and looked at her mother.

''No, are you _in love_ with her?'' She asked before Jane stepped back again and looked at her mother with a confused look.

''_What? _No!'' The detective asked. She sighed, put her elbows on the counter and began to rub her temples with her fingers. ''I-I don't know…''

''Do you love _Casey?_'' Jane didn't say anything. She honestly didn't know. Angela looked at Jane and sighed. She put her hands on her daughter's shoulders. ''You don't need to answer me, Jane. All I know is that Casey doesn't deserve you. I hope you'll make the right decision. Listen to your heart.''

**Thoughts? **


End file.
